patgund: (Hello Abomination)
Toad in the Hole with Rosemary – Vegan and Gluten Free

Serves 2 (can easily be doubled up)

1 Red Onion
4-6 Cherry Tomatoes
4-6 sliced Mushrooms
4 Vegan Sausages (I used Linda McCartney)
Big drizzle Sunflower Oil (do not use olive oil!!)
70g Gluten Free White Self Raising Flour
120ml Dairy Free Milk (I used almond)
2 Eggs worth of Orgran Egg Replacer (follow the directions on the pack)
1/2 tspn Turmeric
1 tblspn Rosemary
Salt and Pepper

Rest of recipe behind cut )
patgund: (Gears)
Cajun Matzah Balls with Green Onion

1 cup diced green onions (scallions)
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1/2 stick (1/4 cup) parve margarine
8 regular matzahs
Salt and pepper to taste
Chipotle pepper to taste
2 large eggs, separated
1/2 cup chopped parsley
1/2 cup matzah meal, toasted

Saute the green onions and garlic in the margarine. Cool.

Soak matzahs in water until soft. Drain very well and squeeze out all the water.

Place matzah in skillet with the sauteed garlic and green onions. Add the salt, pepper and chipotle and 2 well-beaten egg yolks before mixture gets too hot. Add the parsley and cook, stirring constantly, until the matzah is dry and it leaves the skillet. Let mixture cool.

In bowl of an electric mixer beat the egg whites until stiff. Fold them into the mixture. Roll mixture into balls slightly smaller than a walnut, then roll them in the toasted matzah meal.

Lower matzah balls gently with a slotted soup spoon into gently simmering salted water and simmer them, covered, for 30 to 40 minutes.

Lift with a slotted spoon into bowls with chicken soup or drain and serve as a dressing with beef or turkey.

Makes about 56 matzah balls or 6 to 8 per person
patgund: (Gears)
Toad in the Hole (Vegan & Low Carb)

Ingredients:

3 morningstar farms vegetarian sausages
2 ounces soy flour
2 fluid ounces rice milk
1 teaspoon white wine vinegar
salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to 350°F.

2. Heat/cook the sausages in whatever method you prefer (microwave, stovetop, or in the oven) until browned on all sides, about 3-5 minutes.

3. Place the soyflour and Rice milk into a bowl and whisking to avoid lumps. Finally stir in the vinegar (and a little brown sauce if no one is looking) and whisk until combined.

4. Pour the batter around the sausage in the hot frying pan and place immediately into the oven to cook for 6-8 minutes, or until golden-brown and risen. Serve immediately.
patgund: (Hello Abomination)
Blueberry and Ginger Glazed Pork Ribs

Cooking Time: 2 hr 10 min
What You'll Need:

1 small onion, diced
2 cloves garlic, minced
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 1/2 cups ketchup
2 cups fresh blueberries
1/4 cup molasses
2 tablespoons vinegar
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons fresh ginger, minced
4 pounds baby back pork ribs

Rest behind cut )
patgund: (Hello Abomination)
Corn Dog Brownies

Ingredients

2 boxes of your favorite brownie mix
4 eggs
2 sticks (16T) butter, melted
30 frozen mini corn dogs (They come in packs of 40. You know what to do with the rest.)

Directions

Preheat oven to 325 degrees and line a 9×13 pan with non-stick foil (or use sticky foil and grease it).
Mix brownie, eggs, and butter in the biggest bowl you own.
Chop corn dogs in half and stir into brownie batter.
Pour and smash the pork-laden batter into the foil-lined pan and bake for 55 to 65 minutes.
Let cool for a long as you can stand it, cut, consume, and cry-gasm.
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Unicorn Poop Cookies



Basically they're Sugar Cookies, with:

"rainbow dragees, rainbow star sprinkles, white sparkle gel, and rainbow disco dust."

patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Corned Beef and Cabbage Egg Rolls

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon butter
1 onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 cup finely chopped cabbage
1 cup frozen hash brown potatoes, thawed
1 cup finely chopped cooked corned beef
2 tablespoons Dijon or yellow mustard
Salt and pepper to taste
8 (7 to 8-inch) egg roll wrappers
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
Thousand Island dressing

Directions behind cut )
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Vegan Spam

Ingredients:

1 cup dried soybeans
2 cups water
1 cup tomato juice
½ cup peanut butter
2 teaspoons sea salt
1⁄3; cup finely chopped celery
¼ cup nutritional yeast
1⁄3; cup finely chopped onion
½ cup soy sauce
½ teaspoon garlic powder
1 cup cornmeal

Directions:
1 Finely chop celery and onion.
2 Place dried soybeans in a blender and pulse several times until they are pulverized to a powder. Add all other ingredients except the cornmeal.
3 Blend until smooth.
4 Place everything in a bowl and stir in cornmeal until completely mixed.
5 Oil two 14.5 oz. cleaned cans (from canned foods). Put half of the mixture into each. Cover with foil, secure with rubber bands.
6 Place the cans into a Dutch oven or large pot and fill with water so they are 1/3 of the way submerged.
7 Bring the water to a boil, then cover, reduce heat, and simmer, steaming the SPAM for approximately two hours.
8 Remove cans from pot and cool. Using a can opener remove the other side of the can and push SPAM through. Slice, season and enjoy!
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Two words that should never go together - "spam doughnuts"

Spam-tastic contest win for local man's doughnut recipe

"Auburn resident Jason Munson, 41, has won the Great American SPAM Competition, carrying a first place finish at the Puyallup Fair all the way through the nationals. His Mini Maple Spam Doughnuts beat out Spam Rangoon, Spam Chilaquiles, a "Sunrise Spamabelle Quiche," and other regional finalists. It was the seventh -- yes, seventh -- year he'd entered the contest."


And the recipe itself:

Recipe Behind Cut )
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Just in case you were worried about your arteries being too open:

Creamy Chicken

4 skin-on, on-bone breasts
1 can Campbell's Cream o' Mushroom
1 can Campbell's Cream o' Chicken
16 oz container of real sour cream
1 cup dry sherry

salt, pepper, garlic powder, paprika

season breasts with salt, perrer, garlic powder, and brown the breasts well

put them skin-side up in a glass 9x13 baking dish

mix soups, sour cream, and sherry well
pour into the dish around the chicken, leaving skin exposed
lightly sprinkle paprika on skin

cover dish w aluminum foil

bake at 350 about 40 minutes, remove foil for last ten minutes

serve with huge quantities of white rice
and something green to assuage guilt
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Phall

1 1/2 lbs meat or 1 1/2 lbs poultry , chopped into 1 inch cubes
1 large onion , finely chopped
8 garlic cloves , finely chopped
1 ounce fresh ginger , finely chopped
3 tablespoons ghee or 3 tablespoons oil
14 ounces canned tomatoes
1 tablespoon tomato ketchup
1 tablespoon tomato puree
12 dried chilies (birdseye work well) or 12 fresh chili peppers (birdseye work well)

Spices
1 teaspoon cumin , ground
1 teaspoon coriander , ground
3 teaspoons chili powder (dried, ground chiles such as cayenne)
1 teaspoon dried fenugreek leaves (optional)
1 teaspoon garam masala

Directions:
1 - Fry the meat in a pan in half the ghee or oil, until sealed (5 to 10 minutes). Set aside.
2 - Fry the onion, garlic and ginger until golden in remaining ghee or oil.
3 - Mix the spices with a little water to make a paste.
4 - Add to the onion mixture and cook for 10 minutes.
5 - Add the tomato (tinned, ketchup and puree) and chilies.
6 - Cook for a further 10 minutes.
7 - Combine the meat and all ingredients in a casserole dish and cook in a pre-heated oven at 400 deg F, Gas 6 for 45 to 60 minutes. (Alternatively, add meat back to the pan with the mixture and cook covered on low heat for an hour. At this stage you can also just throw it all into the slow cooker if you prefer.).
patgund: (Hello Abomination)
Marmite Tarts

Ingredients

175g plain flour
80g of butter
2 tbsp sugar
1/2 tsp of salt
50ml of water
4 tsp Marmite
200g soft cream cheese
50g grated mature cheddar
Mix together the flour, salt, sugar and butter (cut into small pieces). Rub the mixture with your fingers until the mixture resembles bread-crumbs. Then add a little water at a time, knead gently until you have ball of pastry. Finally, place in the fridge and chill for around an hour. While this is chilling, simply mix the cream cheese, Marmite and cheddar together in another bowl.

Grease around 8 compartments of a muffin tin, and preheat the oven to 200ºc.

Roll out the pastry on a lightly floured board until 4-5 mm thick. Use a 8cm pastry cutter to cut out the bases and gently place them in the greased muffin tray. Add around 2 tsp of the Marmite and cheese mixture into each case. Place in the oven and cook for around 15 to 20 minutes or until the pastry has started to go golden. Remove from the oven, place on a wire rack and allow to cool.
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Spam Vegetable Strudel

Ingredients -

1 pk Long-grain and wild rice mix (6.25 oz)
1/2 cup Chopped carrot
1/2 cup Chopped red bell pepper
1/4 cup Orange juice
1 can SPAM Luncheon Meat, cut in thin strips (12 oz)
2 cups Chopped mushrooms
1/4 cup Sliced green onions
1 tbs Dijon-style mustard
1/2 tsp Basil
1/4 tsp Pepper
6 Sheets frozen phyllo pastry, thawed
Butter-flavor vegetable cooking spray
1 tbs Dry bread crumbs
Soy sauce

Directions behind cut )
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Tex-Mex Sheet Cake

Ingredients:

Crisco® Original No-Stick Cooking Spray
1 1/4 cups butter, divided
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, divided
1 cup strong brewed Folgers® Classic Roast or Black Silk Coffee*
2 cups Pillsbury BEST® All Purpose Flour
1 1/2 cups firmly packed light brown sugar
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. Folgers® Instant Coffee Crystals
1 (14 oz.) can Eagle Brand® Sweetened Condensed Milk, divided
3 large eggs
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup toasted slivered almonds or pecans*

Directions behind cut )
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Okay, I swear I didn't get some of my RotD entries from this site. Still....

Random Recipe Generator

Every time you refresh it, it randomly generates a new recipe. Some might even be edible! And some might be like:

"Baked Whipped Cream
Serves 4

You will need:
* 110ml white wine
* 60ml whipped cream
* 110ml hot pepper sauce

Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 210 C
sauté the white wine
heat the white wine
sauté the whipped cream
toast the hot pepper sauce
bake for 90 minutes and serve hot"

or

"Baked Cucumbers
Serves 1

You will need:
80g strawberries
20g toffee
5 lemons
3 cucumbers
130ml soy sauce

Instructions:
pre-heat the oven to 200 C
rinse the strawberries
slice the cucumbers
put the lemons in the saucepan
toast the soy sauce
rinse the toffee
bake for 30 minutes and serve hot"
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Dr. Pepper Cake

1 1/2 c. Dr. Pepper
1 c. oatmeal
1/2 c. shortening or butter
1 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 c. brown sugar
1 1/2 c. flour
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. soda
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. vanilla

Rest behind cut )
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Chocolate ramen cakes

You will need: (For 3 cakes)
- 1 package of ramen noodles (crushed)
- 3 small dessert cupcakes
- 1 cup of cherries
- 1 cup of chocolate dessert fondue
- 1/3 cup of vegetable oil (cooking)

How to cook:

The noodles:
1. While the noodles are still in the package, break them in small pieces.
2. Put the vegetable oil in the cooking pan.
3. Turn on the stove and wait for the oil to heat up.
4. Put your noodles in the cooking pan.
5. Since ramen are dehydrated, you have to be careful not to burn them. Always gently shake the cooking pan.
6. Your noodles are ready once they have a nice brownish color.
7. Turn off the stove and put your noodles in a bowl.

The recipe:
8. Put the 3 cakes in a plate.
9. Add the cherries and the fried ramen on top of the cakes.
10. Pour the chocolate fondue on top of everything.
11. Enjoy!
patgund: Knotwork (Muppets - Iron Swedish Chef)
Thai Chicken Strips

Ingredients:

12 to 24 chicken strips or boneless "wings"
1/3 to 1/2 cup liquid honey (1/2 cup if you have more than 12 strips)
3 Tbsp. soy sauce or wheat-free tamari
2 tsp. dark soy sauce
3 Tbsp. fish sauce
juice of 1 lime
1 Tbsp. chili powder
1 thumb-size piece galangal or ginger, grated
grated rind of 1 lime (limes are easier to grate when uncut - only grate the rind, not the white flesh underneath)
1-3 fresh red chillies, minced, OR 1-3 tsp. red chilli sauce (1=mild; 2=medium; 3 or more = hot wings)
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 Tbsp. ground coriander

Directions:

Make the marinade by combining all marinade ingredients together in a large mixing bowl (one that can accommodate all the strips).
Mix the strips in with the marinade, stirring well to coat the meat.
Allow strips to marinate while you warm up the oven or BBQ. Be sure to stir the strips occasionally. Make-ahead Tip: For even better flavor, allow the wings to marinate for several hours or overnight.
If Baking in the Oven: Turn oven to the grill setting and place wings on a broiling pan (a grill with a pan underneath to catch drippings). Place oven rack in the middle or higher, so that wings will be near the heating element of your oven. Watch the stripss carefully as they cook, turning every 5 minutes or so to make sure they don't burn. As with barbecued strips, baste the wings once or twice on each side with remaining marinade from the bottom of the mixing bowl.
If Barbecuing: Place strips on a hot grill on your barbecue. Baste with a brush once or twice on each side (with remaining marinade from the bottom of the bowl), or until the strips appear nice and sticky.
Cook until well done (15 to 30 minutes, depending on how hot your barbecue or oven is). strips are done when juices run clear.
Serve wings hot from the grill or oven, alone or with white or brown rice.

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