Uh-Oh Oreos
Apr. 28th, 2003 10:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
patgund (Tried the new Uh-Oh Oreo cookies yesterday. Here's my review.)
In the beginning, the cookie shelf was empty and barren, and dust collected upon the surface.
And That Which is Good and Yummy called to it's servant, Nasbico, and said unto him: "Bring forth a cookie that will embody all that is good and delicious".
And Nasbico created the Oreo, which placed innocent Vanilla Cream between two Chocolate Wafers, so that the Chocolate could enhance and elevate the Vanilla. And That Which is Good and Yummy smiled upon this creation and said "Gaze unto this, for this embodies that which I claim as Good and Yummy."
And for years afterwards, the Oreo reigned supreme. For the Oreo was good in milk, and in pie crust, and in ice cream. The Oreo was good whole, or twisted apart. And the Oreo, with its distant cousins Hydrox and Grasshoppers, were a bright shining place upon the formerlly dark and lonesome cookie shelf.
And then Nabisco created Double Stuf Oreos. And That Which is Good and Yummy smiled, because they were also good and yummy.
And then Nabisco created Mini Oreos, for bite sized goodness. And then, in an act that transended goodness, created Chocolate Cream Oreos.
And That Which is Good and Yummy smiled upon these creations, saying that indeed, one cannot have enough of a good thing.
But Nabisco got prideful and created Mint Oreos and Peanut Butter Oreos and Coffee Oreos. And That Which is Good and Yummy looked upon these new tribes of Oreos, shrugged, and said "Oh well, they're not bad, I guess."
At which point Nabisco fell into darkness and created the false Oreo, the Anti-Oreo. Indeed, a negative image of the Oreo, this fell creation of darkness had two Vanilla Wafers surrounding and hiding the Chocolate, concealing the Chocolate cream in between two horribly bland and tasteless Vanilla Wafers.
And That Which is Good and Yummy looked upon this blasphamy of the Oreo, and said "Uh-oh." And Nabisco heard That Which is Good and Yummy say this, and henceforth marketed this foul creation under the name "Uh-Oh Oreo."
And That Which is Good and Yummy turn it's head away in saddness over this perversion of the Oreo Cookie, while the forces of darkness cheered the arrival of this Anti-Oreo cookie.
In the beginning, the cookie shelf was empty and barren, and dust collected upon the surface.
And That Which is Good and Yummy called to it's servant, Nasbico, and said unto him: "Bring forth a cookie that will embody all that is good and delicious".
And Nasbico created the Oreo, which placed innocent Vanilla Cream between two Chocolate Wafers, so that the Chocolate could enhance and elevate the Vanilla. And That Which is Good and Yummy smiled upon this creation and said "Gaze unto this, for this embodies that which I claim as Good and Yummy."
And for years afterwards, the Oreo reigned supreme. For the Oreo was good in milk, and in pie crust, and in ice cream. The Oreo was good whole, or twisted apart. And the Oreo, with its distant cousins Hydrox and Grasshoppers, were a bright shining place upon the formerlly dark and lonesome cookie shelf.
And then Nabisco created Double Stuf Oreos. And That Which is Good and Yummy smiled, because they were also good and yummy.
And then Nabisco created Mini Oreos, for bite sized goodness. And then, in an act that transended goodness, created Chocolate Cream Oreos.
And That Which is Good and Yummy smiled upon these creations, saying that indeed, one cannot have enough of a good thing.
But Nabisco got prideful and created Mint Oreos and Peanut Butter Oreos and Coffee Oreos. And That Which is Good and Yummy looked upon these new tribes of Oreos, shrugged, and said "Oh well, they're not bad, I guess."
At which point Nabisco fell into darkness and created the false Oreo, the Anti-Oreo. Indeed, a negative image of the Oreo, this fell creation of darkness had two Vanilla Wafers surrounding and hiding the Chocolate, concealing the Chocolate cream in between two horribly bland and tasteless Vanilla Wafers.
And That Which is Good and Yummy looked upon this blasphamy of the Oreo, and said "Uh-oh." And Nabisco heard That Which is Good and Yummy say this, and henceforth marketed this foul creation under the name "Uh-Oh Oreo."
And That Which is Good and Yummy turn it's head away in saddness over this perversion of the Oreo Cookie, while the forces of darkness cheered the arrival of this Anti-Oreo cookie.
