Trek Snark
Apr. 22nd, 2004 04:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
patgundWell, according to a recent interview, one of the two people resposible for turning "Star Trek" into the steaming pile of bovine excrement it's become, talks about a new "Trek" movie, and a possible new SF series he's creating with his partner in crime.
Rick Berman: "Prequel" Film in the Works, Plus Developing New Series With Braga
I figured I couldn't resist making my own observations about the article, so......
"After over a year of silence on the future of the STAR TREK feature film franchise...
(Because neither one was willing to admit how badly Nemsis blew dead penguins.)
...producer Rick Berman has finally dropped the first hints of a new theatrical project for the franchise.
(Umm, dude, you've gone to that cow so many times, that it's giving powdered milk. The best thing for a Trek movie right now would be "hiatus".)
Berman confirms for the first time that he is now developing a STAR TREK feature film project: "I am involved in the very early stages of what could be the next STAR TREK movie,"....
(Translation: they're whining to Paramount say "Please please please let us waste your money again)
...reveals Berman, in an excerpt provided by Dreamwatch. "It's something I will be producing with two other producers."
(The other two, presumably, being Braga and Lucifer)
Unwilling to offer many details...
(Because he doesn't have a clue what he's gonna rehash yet. Expect problems with the doubletalk generators, an unknown space/time warp, and some hot big-breasted bimbo to wear something skin-tight and add nothing to the plot except visible nipples.)
...he cryptically describes it as "a prequel" without any further elaboration.
(How about this for a movie idea. "Enterprise" is sent to investigate a time rift caused by an unusual wormhole. Investigation shows that the wormhole is being generated by the high speed spinning in his grave that Gene Roddenbery is currently doing. Enterprise goes back to the early 21st century, and discovers the only way to stop the spinning, close the wormhole and preserve the future time line is to hunt down and kill two third-rate hack TV producers, namely Rick Berman and Brannon Braga. I can guarantee an audience for that movie.)
The names of his producing cohorts will have to remain unknown for now, as well.
(He hasn't invoked the restless spirits of the talentless from the 20th plane of Hell yet)
This follows a report earlier this week from Dark Horizons that Paramount may be working on a project the site described as "Starfleet Command."
(Oh, the makers of a certain Trek-based wargame must love hearing this.)
Coincidentially, former TREK producer Harve Bennett (STAR TREKs II-VI) revealed recently that several years ago he had pitched a Starfleet Academy-based STAR TREK movie concept.
(Yeah, but he was shot down. Gods forbid they actually get someone involved with Trek that actually has a snowball's idea of knowing anything *about* the subject.)
On the television front, while the future of their first series remains in limbo,
(Read - on life support, and Paramount is wondering if they should try a risky experimental therapy and perform a Bermanectomy while removing an invasive Braganoma)
Berman confirms that he is developing a non-STAR TREK sci-fi series with partner Brannon Braga.
(I thought they already did. It was called "Enterprise")
Both Berman and Braga have development deals with Paramount. If a new series begins development in earnest, TrekWeb insiders suggest Berman and/or Braga might take a reduced role in a fourth season of ENTERPRISE, though this is entirely speculation."
(How about reducing their role to, oh, I dunno, 0%??? And actually getting someone in there who could revive the mortibund patient. Assuming that the patient isn't terminal already.)
Rick Berman: "Prequel" Film in the Works, Plus Developing New Series With Braga
I figured I couldn't resist making my own observations about the article, so......
"After over a year of silence on the future of the STAR TREK feature film franchise...
(Because neither one was willing to admit how badly Nemsis blew dead penguins.)
...producer Rick Berman has finally dropped the first hints of a new theatrical project for the franchise.
(Umm, dude, you've gone to that cow so many times, that it's giving powdered milk. The best thing for a Trek movie right now would be "hiatus".)
Berman confirms for the first time that he is now developing a STAR TREK feature film project: "I am involved in the very early stages of what could be the next STAR TREK movie,"....
(Translation: they're whining to Paramount say "Please please please let us waste your money again)
...reveals Berman, in an excerpt provided by Dreamwatch. "It's something I will be producing with two other producers."
(The other two, presumably, being Braga and Lucifer)
Unwilling to offer many details...
(Because he doesn't have a clue what he's gonna rehash yet. Expect problems with the doubletalk generators, an unknown space/time warp, and some hot big-breasted bimbo to wear something skin-tight and add nothing to the plot except visible nipples.)
...he cryptically describes it as "a prequel" without any further elaboration.
(How about this for a movie idea. "Enterprise" is sent to investigate a time rift caused by an unusual wormhole. Investigation shows that the wormhole is being generated by the high speed spinning in his grave that Gene Roddenbery is currently doing. Enterprise goes back to the early 21st century, and discovers the only way to stop the spinning, close the wormhole and preserve the future time line is to hunt down and kill two third-rate hack TV producers, namely Rick Berman and Brannon Braga. I can guarantee an audience for that movie.)
The names of his producing cohorts will have to remain unknown for now, as well.
(He hasn't invoked the restless spirits of the talentless from the 20th plane of Hell yet)
This follows a report earlier this week from Dark Horizons that Paramount may be working on a project the site described as "Starfleet Command."
(Oh, the makers of a certain Trek-based wargame must love hearing this.)
Coincidentially, former TREK producer Harve Bennett (STAR TREKs II-VI) revealed recently that several years ago he had pitched a Starfleet Academy-based STAR TREK movie concept.
(Yeah, but he was shot down. Gods forbid they actually get someone involved with Trek that actually has a snowball's idea of knowing anything *about* the subject.)
On the television front, while the future of their first series remains in limbo,
(Read - on life support, and Paramount is wondering if they should try a risky experimental therapy and perform a Bermanectomy while removing an invasive Braganoma)
Berman confirms that he is developing a non-STAR TREK sci-fi series with partner Brannon Braga.
(I thought they already did. It was called "Enterprise")
Both Berman and Braga have development deals with Paramount. If a new series begins development in earnest, TrekWeb insiders suggest Berman and/or Braga might take a reduced role in a fourth season of ENTERPRISE, though this is entirely speculation."
(How about reducing their role to, oh, I dunno, 0%??? And actually getting someone in there who could revive the mortibund patient. Assuming that the patient isn't terminal already.)
