Life and the Onion.....
Nov. 24th, 2006 10:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
patgundSpaniards Vow To Once Again Decimate Population Of New World
"Seeking to reestablish Spain's global dominance after centuries of diminished empire, Spanish King Juan Carlos proclaimed yesterday his intention to unleash a mighty fighting force of conquistadores to reconquer, convert, enslave, and exploit the native populations of the Western Hemisphere.
"On this day we set sail for the New World to reclaim what is rightfully ours, and any savage who opposes us shall be either chained or broken in our name," Juan Carlos told the slightly confused crowd of Madrid citizens gathered under threat of death outside the Placio Imperiatus, formerly the Banco Madrid. "All shall bow their heads to Spain and Christ or lose them!"
"Be warned, peoples of the Americas, for the Reino Imperio de España comes to wreak havoc upon your heads and bring you under the yoke of Christ, God save you," he added.
"Seeking to reestablish Spain's global dominance after centuries of diminished empire, Spanish King Juan Carlos proclaimed yesterday his intention to unleash a mighty fighting force of conquistadores to reconquer, convert, enslave, and exploit the native populations of the Western Hemisphere.
"On this day we set sail for the New World to reclaim what is rightfully ours, and any savage who opposes us shall be either chained or broken in our name," Juan Carlos told the slightly confused crowd of Madrid citizens gathered under threat of death outside the Placio Imperiatus, formerly the Banco Madrid. "All shall bow their heads to Spain and Christ or lose them!"
"Be warned, peoples of the Americas, for the Reino Imperio de España comes to wreak havoc upon your heads and bring you under the yoke of Christ, God save you," he added.
