EEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[patgund]

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest - 2007 Results

"WINNER -

Gerald began--but was interrupted by a piercing whistle which cost him ten percent of his hearing permanently, as it did everyone else in a ten-mile radius of the eruption, not that it mattered much because for them "permanently" meant the next ten minutes or so until buried by searing lava or suffocated by choking ash--to pee."

Winner: Children's Literature -

Danny, the little Grizzly cub, frolicked in the tall grass on this sunny Spring morning, his mother keeping a watchful eye as she chewed on a piece of a hiker they had encountered the day before.

Winner: Purple Prose -

Professor Radzinsky wove his fingers together in a tweed-like fabric, pinched his lips together like a blowfish, and began his lecture on simile and metaphor, which are, like, similar to one another, except that similes are almost always preceded by the word 'like' while metaphors are more like words that make you think of something else beside what you are describing.

Runner-Up -

The highway coiled up and around the mountain like a snake ready to strike because it was being harassed by one of those annoying guys on "Animal Planet."

There are far worse ones as well........

Comments

[henglaar.livejournal.com]

Ah, they sometimes approach the power and majesty of the Master Himself, Bulwer-Lytton, the man who gave us "The pen is mightier than the sword" and the every popular "it was a dark and stormy night".

I'm embarrassed to admit that the first one actually makes me want to find out what happened next.

And I like the simile of the coiled highway, as well.