*LAUGH!!!*

[patgund]

For the Librarians, book store employees, and book lovers on my friends list, I present to you a metaquotes post which is chock full of both win and awesome.

Librarians control the Universe, don't ever piss one off -- Spider Robinson

"Honestly, what reaction were you expecting when you asked me for books on serial killers, Satanism and voodoo? Were you expecting me to get the vapors? "Satanism? Oh, my stars!" (hand to bosom, fall over in a dead faint).

I bet you sure as hell weren't expecting me to give you a list of books on the subject as well as a few suggestions for more indepth research. I could tell because you stopped elbowing your friend and looking smug.

Listen kid, it'll take a hell of a lot more than anything your tiny brain can come up with to shock me. I've had used condoms land on my hand while shelving, watched in amusement while a bounty hunter tackled a guy in the periodicals section, cleaned up crap, barf, urine, blood and other body fluids, been slapped, screamed at, survived attempted conversions and Lord knows what else. You painting your nails black and carrying around books by Aleister Crowley (a rather well-known person in the occult whose name I had to suggest to you and that I know you won't be able to read with any comprehension)does little more than make me roll my eyes.

Why don't you go try your tired schtick in a church and make some Lutherans pass out? I'm a librarian, motherf**ker, you couldn't shock me if you tried."

Comments

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

I love Spider.

Want to shock a librarian? Tear a book in half. That would work.

[mmegaera.livejournal.com]

Nah. Been there done that one, too.

Mmegaera, former librarian, who has torn her own share, actually.

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

I don't mean, like a 1978 love horoscope for the sign of Libra, I mean a real book that people will actually NEED. ;-)

[mmegaera.livejournal.com]

So do I [eg].

Or, at least, books that have been seriously needed by people in the past...

Outdated science (and other subjects where updatedness is important) books and the like.

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

*ow-ribs-ow-gasp-wipeseyes-ohmandon'tDOthatwithoutwarningme!*

*totters off still giggling*

[mistresshuette.livejournal.com]

As a Librarian and a good Lutheran, I resent that remark. We Lutherans are not that shockable. The only shocking thing that ever happened to me as a Librarian was being caught in the middle of a murder-suicide. Fortunately, I am very good at ducking.

[mistresshuette.livejournal.com]

This also happened to me: Patron asks where certain subjects are shelved so I pointed him to the area. Later, when I walked by that area, I found him on his knees. I asked him if he was okay. He looked at me and said, "I am okay. I am just praying. You are such a nice lady. I am praying that no harm will come to you." I will admit that creaped me out a bit. But I continued walking by and did a bee-line for the nearest security guards [who were hired after the murder-suicide] and asked them to keep an eye on him.