Faire Idiots on Parade
May. 19th, 2003 10:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
patgund(Posted on SCA Humor)
Koroneburg's Villiage Idiot
2002 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
I am what is popularly referred to as a "Rennie," or a Renaissance Fair participant. I patronize a smaller fair in between Norco, and Corona called "Koroneburg." Being a smaller fair, we are all a close knit bunch, and no-one's secrets are safe for long. However, it is no secret who the villiage idiot is. When God was passing out brains, Tim must have thought he said "trains," and requested HO scale. Really. Being a Renaissance fair, we sell what we refer to as "Sharp pointy things." Several booths are dedicated to knives and swords of all sorts. At Knightware, they even sell little throwing knives called spiders. The smaller a knife is, the better it is made generally, and the spiders are no exception. A customer was asking about blades and came across the spiders. When he asked if they were sharp (Larger blades are not sold with a live edge for safety reasons) Tim replied "No, look" and drove the one inch black blade straight into his chest with all the force he could muster. If it were a cheap knife, it would have come out easily, but the knife was well made and was stuck in Tim's sternum.Tim was driven to the hospital, where the knife was removed, and he was subsequently charged for the knife on the grounds that no-one else wanted to buy it. He was taken back to the hospital two weekends later for stitches in his thumb where, sharpening said knife, he cut it down to the bone. Tim is now banned from all weapons stalls, and doesn't understand why.
Submitted on 04/21/2003
Koroneburg's Villiage Idiot
2002 Reader Submission
Pending Acceptance
I am what is popularly referred to as a "Rennie," or a Renaissance Fair participant. I patronize a smaller fair in between Norco, and Corona called "Koroneburg." Being a smaller fair, we are all a close knit bunch, and no-one's secrets are safe for long. However, it is no secret who the villiage idiot is. When God was passing out brains, Tim must have thought he said "trains," and requested HO scale. Really. Being a Renaissance fair, we sell what we refer to as "Sharp pointy things." Several booths are dedicated to knives and swords of all sorts. At Knightware, they even sell little throwing knives called spiders. The smaller a knife is, the better it is made generally, and the spiders are no exception. A customer was asking about blades and came across the spiders. When he asked if they were sharp (Larger blades are not sold with a live edge for safety reasons) Tim replied "No, look" and drove the one inch black blade straight into his chest with all the force he could muster. If it were a cheap knife, it would have come out easily, but the knife was well made and was stuck in Tim's sternum.Tim was driven to the hospital, where the knife was removed, and he was subsequently charged for the knife on the grounds that no-one else wanted to buy it. He was taken back to the hospital two weekends later for stitches in his thumb where, sharpening said knife, he cut it down to the bone. Tim is now banned from all weapons stalls, and doesn't understand why.
Submitted on 04/21/2003
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no subject
Date: 2003-05-19 02:12 pm (UTC)how's life been treating you, sweets?
no subject
Date: 2003-05-19 02:46 pm (UTC)(Laugh)
Date: 2003-05-19 02:46 pm (UTC)Not working faire this yea, but never did the Drivels, so can't say if they're there or not.
Other than that, busy and tired. Same old anymore. :-)
Re: (Laugh)
Date: 2003-05-19 03:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-05-19 03:58 pm (UTC)