Those helpful fairies

[patgund]

Perhaps the most misunderstood, (and misguided) of the fay is that cousin of the tooth fairy and the keebler elf known as The Mucus Fairy.

This fay, known for their slighty damp appearance, flitters around from human to human, looking for that special human that deserves her gift.

When she finds that special human, she waits until he or she is asleep, and comes to them, spreading her yellow/greenish wings wide open. And with a wave of her somewhat gooey wand, she gives that human a most special gift to her - the joy of having an unending fountain of mucus come roaring out of one's sinuses. Pleased with her work, the Mucus Fairy flitters off, thinking of the wonder and delight that the human will have upon awaking.

The human, on the other hand, doesn't particularly care for the Mucus Fairy's gift, and, in reality, would use cold iron pins to tack the poor Mucus Fairy to a wall and torture her slowly. This is due to the fact that their sinuses are gushing forth like a fountain of partially set lemon jello and making them cranky and annoyed.

So if you should see The Mucus Fairy, spare a brief moment of sadness for this poor misguided creature, giving everyone she thinks of this most very special gift.

And then kill the little bitch with a fly swatter before she can gift anyone else with the all-day snack of post-nasal drip.

Comments

[selenesue.livejournal.com]

Bitch has been trying to drown me for YEARS.

[firedrake-mor.livejournal.com]

Oh, PUH-LEEZE let me find her before she lays into me next time, so I can slowly pull those putrid little wings off of her slimy little body. Let me the roast her slowly over a citronella candle, drying her out altogether, and then shipping her off to my friend Ari Berk for the next edition of the Pressed Fairy Book.