Thoughts and Comments on "The Two Towers"
Jan. 13th, 2003 10:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
patgundOkay, I finally saw "The Two Towers" on sunday. And, of course, I couldn't help but post my comments and thoughts on it.
Thoughts and Comments on "The Two Towers".
Okay, just how deep *was* that pit that Gandalf fell into??
Note: when falling into a deep pit, trying to kill the one thing that has wings is not a good idea. Ride them to the ground, then kill them.
Don't bother giving a dwarf track shoes. It won't do them any good.
Rangers, Elves, and Dwarves can out pace a marathoner. So, sad to say, can Orks.
(Sniff Sniff) Oh yum! An open-pit pork barbeque!! Oh, wait, it's an Ork funeral pyre. Never mind.
Ents take forever to make even small decisions. Which makes them perfect to work at Middle Earth's DMV.
Yes, we know the Ring is evil. We've been watching Frodo have angst attacks over it for almost three hours.
CGI creatures have to be hyperkinetic if small. Was I the only one having Yoda flashbacks while watching Gollum??
Seems that there's a requirement that when one becomes a white wizard, one must always stand where the light can hit them just so, to we can underscore that fact to both the people in the audience that haven't been smacked over the head already by it.
Never piss off a tree
Hello?? Putting the weak spot on a curtain wall right in the *middle* of the wall is A Bad Idea. Why couldn't they put the drain towards the end of the wall??
Not to mention the sheer stupidity of putting a door on the *side* of the gatehouse.
Let's see. Narrow stone causeway. No railings. Long drop off the side. Seems like a good addition to Helms Keep would have been some hot oil to pour down the causeway. Heck, set the oil on fire, and have Ork Flambe.
Seems there are points in which it's okay to toss a dwarf after all.
Riding a charge of horse down a hill is one thing. Riding a charge of horse down a hill so steep that most horses would fall and break their legs or necks is something completely different. Horses don't do steep hills well.
Merry and Pippin *still* seem to redefine "Noisome and easily expendable."
If Frodo gets one of his misty-eyed, lost in time, angst attacks one more time, I'm voting to dump him in black velvet and lace, stick him at a goth club, and let Samwise take the damm ring to Mount Doom.
Looking at Eistengard, the name "Irwindale, California" kept coming to mind.
Okay, just why the hell did they add that whole thing were Aragorn did that whole "Fall Down Go Splash" bit?? Just so they could add a scene with his pointy-eared ladylove?? Gak.
Funny, I don't remember Faramir acting like Boromir. I guess insanity and obsession run in that family.
Fish weren't the only things Gollum was chewing on. The scenery was the other.
Seems archery wasn't the only thing Legolas was good at. Surfing seems to be the other. Must have gotten that bleach-blond hair somewhere. ("Yo, pointy-eared dude! Surfs up!!")
Thoughts and Comments on "The Two Towers".
Okay, just how deep *was* that pit that Gandalf fell into??
Note: when falling into a deep pit, trying to kill the one thing that has wings is not a good idea. Ride them to the ground, then kill them.
Don't bother giving a dwarf track shoes. It won't do them any good.
Rangers, Elves, and Dwarves can out pace a marathoner. So, sad to say, can Orks.
(Sniff Sniff) Oh yum! An open-pit pork barbeque!! Oh, wait, it's an Ork funeral pyre. Never mind.
Ents take forever to make even small decisions. Which makes them perfect to work at Middle Earth's DMV.
Yes, we know the Ring is evil. We've been watching Frodo have angst attacks over it for almost three hours.
CGI creatures have to be hyperkinetic if small. Was I the only one having Yoda flashbacks while watching Gollum??
Seems that there's a requirement that when one becomes a white wizard, one must always stand where the light can hit them just so, to we can underscore that fact to both the people in the audience that haven't been smacked over the head already by it.
Never piss off a tree
Hello?? Putting the weak spot on a curtain wall right in the *middle* of the wall is A Bad Idea. Why couldn't they put the drain towards the end of the wall??
Not to mention the sheer stupidity of putting a door on the *side* of the gatehouse.
Let's see. Narrow stone causeway. No railings. Long drop off the side. Seems like a good addition to Helms Keep would have been some hot oil to pour down the causeway. Heck, set the oil on fire, and have Ork Flambe.
Seems there are points in which it's okay to toss a dwarf after all.
Riding a charge of horse down a hill is one thing. Riding a charge of horse down a hill so steep that most horses would fall and break their legs or necks is something completely different. Horses don't do steep hills well.
Merry and Pippin *still* seem to redefine "Noisome and easily expendable."
If Frodo gets one of his misty-eyed, lost in time, angst attacks one more time, I'm voting to dump him in black velvet and lace, stick him at a goth club, and let Samwise take the damm ring to Mount Doom.
Looking at Eistengard, the name "Irwindale, California" kept coming to mind.
Okay, just why the hell did they add that whole thing were Aragorn did that whole "Fall Down Go Splash" bit?? Just so they could add a scene with his pointy-eared ladylove?? Gak.
Funny, I don't remember Faramir acting like Boromir. I guess insanity and obsession run in that family.
Fish weren't the only things Gollum was chewing on. The scenery was the other.
Seems archery wasn't the only thing Legolas was good at. Surfing seems to be the other. Must have gotten that bleach-blond hair somewhere. ("Yo, pointy-eared dude! Surfs up!!")
