Goths in Starfleet
Nov. 24th, 2004 12:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
patgundSent to me by a friend......
Top 13 Reasons Goths Have Been Banned From Starfleet
13) They'd have to change their slogan to: "To Boldly Mope, Where No One Has Moped Before."
12) The Universal Translator can't decipher fake English accents.
11) They think a "cloaking device" is a polyester cape from K-Mart.
10) Even the Vulcans crack up when the captain calls, "Ensign Vlad the Impaler to the bridge!"
09) Geordi keeps mistaking the clove cigarette smoke and strobe lights for a warp core breech.
08) Alright! Who replicated the inflatable Trent Reznor doll?
07) Deana Troi's head would explode from all of the angst aboard the Enterprise.
06) It's a solid week after their first mission and the Defiant still reeks of patchouli.
05) Unable to tell the difference between the males and the females, Warf accidentally mates with the lead singer to London After Midnight. The poor boy's body is sent back to earth in three containers.
04) Stuck on a star ship crewed entirely by Goths, Spock receives the accolade, "funniest guy on board."
03) For the last time, the Prime Directive is not: "Sit in a corner and write bad poetry!"
02) No, a Klingon bird of Prey, is not a stuffed raven you wear on your shoulder!
01) If they really wanted a bunch of whiny, irritating adolescents on board, they could have just crossbred Wesley Crusher with Jake Sisco!
Top 13 Reasons Goths Have Been Banned From Starfleet
13) They'd have to change their slogan to: "To Boldly Mope, Where No One Has Moped Before."
12) The Universal Translator can't decipher fake English accents.
11) They think a "cloaking device" is a polyester cape from K-Mart.
10) Even the Vulcans crack up when the captain calls, "Ensign Vlad the Impaler to the bridge!"
09) Geordi keeps mistaking the clove cigarette smoke and strobe lights for a warp core breech.
08) Alright! Who replicated the inflatable Trent Reznor doll?
07) Deana Troi's head would explode from all of the angst aboard the Enterprise.
06) It's a solid week after their first mission and the Defiant still reeks of patchouli.
05) Unable to tell the difference between the males and the females, Warf accidentally mates with the lead singer to London After Midnight. The poor boy's body is sent back to earth in three containers.
04) Stuck on a star ship crewed entirely by Goths, Spock receives the accolade, "funniest guy on board."
03) For the last time, the Prime Directive is not: "Sit in a corner and write bad poetry!"
02) No, a Klingon bird of Prey, is not a stuffed raven you wear on your shoulder!
01) If they really wanted a bunch of whiny, irritating adolescents on board, they could have just crossbred Wesley Crusher with Jake Sisco!
