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"Tasty Treats or Threat to Mankind? Potatoes Develop Intelligence!"

"CLARKE, Idaho -- In a series of startling events, potatoes on farms in Idaho have suddenly developed intelligence and are on the move.

"I was cultivating the back row of taters when I saw them blinking their eyes and pointing their vines at me," said noticeably upset farmer Floyd Haywood. "I ran and got my boys but by then the spuds had stopped moving. They figgered I'd been sippin' potato moonshine until we went to harvest the crop. That was when those big Idahos -- there was seven of 'em -- just pulled themselves from the dirt and rolled into a gully to try and get away. "

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