![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
patgundLiberated from top5.com...
20> His body was hard -- not hard like Milosevic, the Serbian strongman,
but hard like the marble on your shower floor, when you fall and bang
your knee.
19> Her shoulders heaved like the tiny sobs of Snuggles the cat being
run through with a roasting spit.
18> Her embrace made his manhood swell like week-old roadkill on hot
asphalt in the Georgia sun.
17> Her petticoats dropped to the ground, rustling like a cockroach in a
sugar bowl.
16> As she kissed her way down his manly chest, he felt his Amalgamated
Crane Company stock increasing in value.
15> Beatrice was on him like a piranha on a corn dog.
14> ...then he kissed her, like a butterfly kisses the windshield of a
Porsche on the Autobahn.
13> Her breasts heaved like a stormy ocean, and her pointed nipples were
like hypodermics washed up on the shore.
12> With his broad shoulders and slim waist, he was a yield sign -- yet
she could NOT!
11> He tore open her blouse like a Publisher's Clearing House letter in
which he, and some guy named Steven Bouber from Stockton, California,
were potential finalists for the ten million dollar prize.
10> His manhood stood at full attention, stiff and stony like the vice
president.
9> Sleekly malevolent, driven by a violent hunger, Donovan glided
through the chum-filled waters of the singles bar, oblivious to the
remora of Annabelle's adoring gaze.
8> Like the wind, she ran, her breasts lurching like a motor boat over
a wake, and then, as fluid as a fine imported transmission, she whipped
out her man-organ and pissed away his dreams.
7> Her sun-glazed back formed a golden arch as he moved his face toward
her happy meal.
6> With each breath, her chest heaved like a bulimic after Thanksgiving
dinner.
5> He Beatty-ed her shamelessly, making her squeal like Ned and
hallucinate like Warren.
4> He awoke my slumbering womanhood with his double tall loin
latte."Starbuck!" I cried.
3> His chest was her pillow, and oh, did she drool.
2> Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a helpless dust bunny
in the roaring cacophony of his gas-powered leaf blower.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Bad Romance Novel Metaphor or Simile...
1> His finger, weathered and rough from years on the ranch, danced in
and out of his nose like a slimy ballerina.
20> His body was hard -- not hard like Milosevic, the Serbian strongman,
but hard like the marble on your shower floor, when you fall and bang
your knee.
19> Her shoulders heaved like the tiny sobs of Snuggles the cat being
run through with a roasting spit.
18> Her embrace made his manhood swell like week-old roadkill on hot
asphalt in the Georgia sun.
17> Her petticoats dropped to the ground, rustling like a cockroach in a
sugar bowl.
16> As she kissed her way down his manly chest, he felt his Amalgamated
Crane Company stock increasing in value.
15> Beatrice was on him like a piranha on a corn dog.
14> ...then he kissed her, like a butterfly kisses the windshield of a
Porsche on the Autobahn.
13> Her breasts heaved like a stormy ocean, and her pointed nipples were
like hypodermics washed up on the shore.
12> With his broad shoulders and slim waist, he was a yield sign -- yet
she could NOT!
11> He tore open her blouse like a Publisher's Clearing House letter in
which he, and some guy named Steven Bouber from Stockton, California,
were potential finalists for the ten million dollar prize.
10> His manhood stood at full attention, stiff and stony like the vice
president.
9> Sleekly malevolent, driven by a violent hunger, Donovan glided
through the chum-filled waters of the singles bar, oblivious to the
remora of Annabelle's adoring gaze.
8> Like the wind, she ran, her breasts lurching like a motor boat over
a wake, and then, as fluid as a fine imported transmission, she whipped
out her man-organ and pissed away his dreams.
7> Her sun-glazed back formed a golden arch as he moved his face toward
her happy meal.
6> With each breath, her chest heaved like a bulimic after Thanksgiving
dinner.
5> He Beatty-ed her shamelessly, making her squeal like Ned and
hallucinate like Warren.
4> He awoke my slumbering womanhood with his double tall loin
latte."Starbuck!" I cried.
3> His chest was her pillow, and oh, did she drool.
2> Claire felt swept away by this dark stranger, a helpless dust bunny
in the roaring cacophony of his gas-powered leaf blower.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Bad Romance Novel Metaphor or Simile...
1> His finger, weathered and rough from years on the ranch, danced in
and out of his nose like a slimy ballerina.
