April Fools at Work

[patgund]

The research institute I work at usually has various afternoon lectures by local and visiting scientists. Said lectures are usually open to anyone who wants to attend.

Well, this showed up on the all-science list here at work. Happy April Fools

From: Andy (xxxxx) (xxxxx@xxxx.edu)
Date: Thu, 1 Apr 2004 14:26:21 -0800
To: all_science@xxxx.edu
Subject: Today's seminar

Dear Colleagues,

Today's seminar by Dr. Bridgette Bosselier is one not to be missed. Dr. Bosselier will be speaking about her recent and ongoing research towards human cloning. Controversial, Br. Bosselier will provide the first publicly discussed data of "successful" human cloning.


Dr. Bosselier is head of CloneAid, a company devoted to human cloning. One might say, religiously devoted. A few brief words about CloneAid: Almost six years ago, Rael, the well-known leader of the Raelian Movement, the world's largest UFO-related organization numbering 60,000 members in almost 100 countries, founded Clonaid, the first company offering to clone human beings. In her talk today, Dr. Bosselier will explain how today's cloning technology is the first step in the quest for eternal life. After a career in auto racing, Rael enlisted the aid of Dr. Boissieler. In her last job she was a marketing director for a large chemical company in France. Now, she directs human cloning and is a Raelian Bishop!

Rael states:
"Once we can clone exact replicas of ourselves, the next step will be to transfer our memories and personality into our newly cloned brains, which will allow us to truly live forever. Since we will be able to remember all our past, we will be able to accumulate knowledge ad infinitum."

Thus today, man's ultimate dream of eternal life, which past religions only promised will occur after death in a mythical paradise, becomes a scientific reality. Rael, with exceptional vision (he was once a race car driver!), allows us an extraordinary glimpse into an amazing future and explains how our nascent technology will revolutionize our world and transform our lives. For example, he describes how nanotechnology will make agriculture and heavy industry redundant, how super-artificial intelligence will quickly perform human intelligence, how eternal life in a computer will be possible without the need for a biological body, and much, much more.


Race car driving, cloning, nanotechnology and super-artificial intelligence; what more could one want for an April 1 seminar?


Andrew (xxxxxx), Ph.D.
(redacted)

Comments

Re: interesting article

[inyou.livejournal.com]

*nods* most likely. I notice also that some characters don't show up correctly in the email-comments either, like Þ should be the greek character that looks like a p but has a line top-to-bottom on the left instead of middle-to-bottom, and ü should be a u with an umlaut, also comment posting doesn't generalyl work from the email-comments if you are using Mozilla..... :(