Dispatches from Birtherstan - 27 April 2011

[patgund]

Dispatches from Birtherstan - 27 April 2011

For the most part, our listening posts outside of birtherstani were picking up more of the same old swill. We had Franklin Graham's non-stated but obvious support for the tribble mobility scooter named Donald Trump. More of Anderson Cooper's interview with Trump, including Trump's statement on Obama's college records, and his belief Obama's long form birth certificate was missing or non-existent.

The Pest and eFail whines at Anderson Cooper, while also whining that Obama never released any of his records, like a birth certificate. The Independent of Arizona finds USCIS records for Obama, Sr. that mention his having a child born in Hawaii. And World Nut Daily whines that the State of Hawaii has "slammed the door" on people wanting their long form birth certificate. CNN talks with Gov. Jan Brewer, and Jesse Jackson points out that the birtherstani may be a bit racist.

Which was pretty much a normal day for birtherstan. Until the morning of 27 April, when a inbound Predator drone launched from Reality made a tactical strike on birtherstan, dropping a 10 megaton State of Hawaii Long-Form Birth Certificate, (complete with request and custody chain), upon the birtherstani.

The effect was immediate, with signs the birtherstani are separating into separate factions to deal with this strike. The de Vattelist brigade seems to be attracting the most followers, under the leadership of Joseph Farah's pornstar mustache as he tries to fall back and regroup. Meanwhile, a crackpot team of denial experts, accompanied by Dr. Orly, attempt to explain away the long form. Trump and others attempt to troll for Obama's college records next, while Trump tries to claim victory. The Teahaddists go "SCARY" "NOT A CITIZEN" "SCARY" "WAHHH! HILLARY!!"

Philip Berg climbs out from the Indonesian Citizenship bunker to try and rally the free-range PayPal donations to his side. The sane part of the GOP is desperately trying to catch the last train out of birtherstan. The Pest and eFail adds their spin, while Miki Booth has fainting spells over the idea that the doctor who delivered Obama may have touched her lady parts during delivery as well. Dr. Kate listens to the wisdom of the sewage ponds and tries to rally the de Vattelists. Swiftboat liar Jerome Corsi tries to pimp his now obsolete book. Lakin's groupies seem to recognize Obama as President enough to offer Lakin a pardon.

And finally, the Daily Kos points out the documentation that many of the birthers really want.