Spam snarkage

[patgund]

Ah, spam messages....

"Good day my dear friend
I believe that new beginning will fill the empty place in my soul with the fresh air and scent of trees in bloom."

Have you tried Pine Sol???

"We will become the one when my honey comes to me…"

If that's all it takes, I'm sure there's a spare bottle of SueBee around here somewhere.

"Without my beloved man I'm nothing, he will become a whole world for me. "

You might want to define which world. You don't want to get some winner of the baked bean and chili cookoff, and discover you're with a gas giant.

"I will love the way he wraps his arms around me and holds me really tight,"

You mean like a straightjacket??

"I will enjoy a feeling when his lips will barely touch mine for a kiss, the love and emotions that go through me at that moment will be unexplainable."

I'm sure there's a few used Harlequin romance novels you can crib off of to explain it.

"I will love him with everything so deep inside."

Two words come to mind. "Vienna Sausage"