Medical Humour
Apr. 17th, 2005 12:02 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
patgundBlame ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
catmcroy for sending these:
http://www.livejournal.com/users/gabri/125339.html
1. I will not sing, "The Final Countdown" in the ICU or on the Oncology unit. "March of Cambraith" is not an acceptable substitute.
2. I will not initiate a betting pool on a patient's blood alcohol levels. I will not cheat and check the labs first.
3. As cool as I think making scrubs from the "skull and crossbones" cotton I found would be, I will refrain.
4. I will not sprinkle itching powder liberally in the locker of the jackass who mixed in the latex gloves with the non-latex for me to find in a dim room.
5. I will not make a concerned face every time I take the hypochondriac's blood pressure. Even though it is true, saying her blood pressure is fine will not help. (And with enough repititions, will also not be true.)
6. I will not save hypodermic syringes to use on my dartboard at home.
7. "Anyone dead?" is not an acceptable way to greet the offgoing unit. Nor is it a proper question when getting report from nurses on your shift.
8. Patient assignments will be made by need and skill of the staff, not who is currently the whiniest.
9. Loudly shouting to a nurse passing in the hall, "How do you do this again?" is not appropirate during any procedure.
10. Nor is "Successfully?" the proper response when asked how often you've done a procedure.
11. As desperately as the situation may appear to be begging for it, pointing an laughing is not the right solution.
catmcroy for sending these:http://www.livejournal.com/users/gabri/125339.html
1. I will not sing, "The Final Countdown" in the ICU or on the Oncology unit. "March of Cambraith" is not an acceptable substitute.
2. I will not initiate a betting pool on a patient's blood alcohol levels. I will not cheat and check the labs first.
3. As cool as I think making scrubs from the "skull and crossbones" cotton I found would be, I will refrain.
4. I will not sprinkle itching powder liberally in the locker of the jackass who mixed in the latex gloves with the non-latex for me to find in a dim room.
5. I will not make a concerned face every time I take the hypochondriac's blood pressure. Even though it is true, saying her blood pressure is fine will not help. (And with enough repititions, will also not be true.)
6. I will not save hypodermic syringes to use on my dartboard at home.
7. "Anyone dead?" is not an acceptable way to greet the offgoing unit. Nor is it a proper question when getting report from nurses on your shift.
8. Patient assignments will be made by need and skill of the staff, not who is currently the whiniest.
9. Loudly shouting to a nurse passing in the hall, "How do you do this again?" is not appropirate during any procedure.
10. Nor is "Successfully?" the proper response when asked how often you've done a procedure.
11. As desperately as the situation may appear to be begging for it, pointing an laughing is not the right solution.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-04-18 05:27 am (UTC)Even if you've just ruptured the aorta.
For vets:
* It is inappropriate for the techs to bring in roadkill and challenge the vets to "see how good they are."
* No matter how slow the day is going, it is not right to suggest that you could drive around and hit a few animals.
* Making comparisons between the pet and the owner's appearance should never be done when the owner is in the building.
* Suggesting that the hyperactive screaming children be muzzled or possibly caged in the isolation ward is right out. No matter if it is what the doctor wants as well.
* Do not compare the overweight pet to the overweight owner. Ever.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-18 07:57 am (UTC)