Idiots on Parade.......

Welcome to America. Oh, and you have the Devil in your heart.

POLISH EXCHANGE STUDENT IN US - My Half-Year of Hell With Christian Fundamentalists

""When I got out of the plane in Greensboro in the US state of North Carolina, I would never have expected my host family to welcome me at the airport, wielding a Bible, and saying, 'Child, our Lord sent you half-way around the world to bring you to us.' At that moment I just wanted to turn round and run back to the plane.

Things began to go wrong as soon as I arrived in my new home in Winston-Salem, where I was to spend my year abroad. For example, every Monday my host family would gather around the kitchen table to talk about sex. My host parents hadn't had sex for the last 17 years because -- so they told me -- they were devoting their lives to God. They also wanted to know whether I drank alcohol. I admitted that I liked beer and wine. They told me I had the devil in my heart.

My host parents treated me like a five-year-old. They gave me lollipops. They woke me every Sunday morning at 6:15 a.m., saying 'Michael, it's time to go to church.' I hated that sentence. When I didn't want to go to church one morning, because I had hardly slept, they didn't allow me to have any coffee."

Idiots on Parade.......

Welcome to America. Oh, and you have the Devil in your heart.

POLISH EXCHANGE STUDENT IN US - My Half-Year of Hell With Christian Fundamentalists

""When I got out of the plane in Greensboro in the US state of North Carolina, I would never have expected my host family to welcome me at the airport, wielding a Bible, and saying, 'Child, our Lord sent you half-way around the world to bring you to us.' At that moment I just wanted to turn round and run back to the plane.

Things began to go wrong as soon as I arrived in my new home in Winston-Salem, where I was to spend my year abroad. For example, every Monday my host family would gather around the kitchen table to talk about sex. My host parents hadn't had sex for the last 17 years because -- so they told me -- they were devoting their lives to God. They also wanted to know whether I drank alcohol. I admitted that I liked beer and wine. They told me I had the devil in my heart.

My host parents treated me like a five-year-old. They gave me lollipops. They woke me every Sunday morning at 6:15 a.m., saying 'Michael, it's time to go to church.' I hated that sentence. When I didn't want to go to church one morning, because I had hardly slept, they didn't allow me to have any coffee."

*Snörk*

From a thread discussing this article on IKEA:

"...take any word, stick an umlaut in it somewhere and it becomes the name of a piece of IKEA furniture.

FÄRK footstool

PENÜS end table

BØØGER cheese grater

and so on."

*Snörk*

From a thread discussing this article on IKEA:

"...take any word, stick an umlaut in it somewhere and it becomes the name of a piece of IKEA furniture.

FÄRK footstool

PENÜS end table

BØØGER cheese grater

and so on."

Life and the Onion.....

Spaniards Vow To Once Again Decimate Population Of New World

"Seeking to reestablish Spain's global dominance after centuries of diminished empire, Spanish King Juan Carlos proclaimed yesterday his intention to unleash a mighty fighting force of conquistadores to reconquer, convert, enslave, and exploit the native populations of the Western Hemisphere.

"On this day we set sail for the New World to reclaim what is rightfully ours, and any savage who opposes us shall be either chained or broken in our name," Juan Carlos told the slightly confused crowd of Madrid citizens gathered under threat of death outside the Placio Imperiatus, formerly the Banco Madrid. "All shall bow their heads to Spain and Christ or lose them!"

"Be warned, peoples of the Americas, for the Reino Imperio de España comes to wreak havoc upon your heads and bring you under the yoke of Christ, God save you," he added.

Life and the Onion.....

Spaniards Vow To Once Again Decimate Population Of New World

"Seeking to reestablish Spain's global dominance after centuries of diminished empire, Spanish King Juan Carlos proclaimed yesterday his intention to unleash a mighty fighting force of conquistadores to reconquer, convert, enslave, and exploit the native populations of the Western Hemisphere.

"On this day we set sail for the New World to reclaim what is rightfully ours, and any savage who opposes us shall be either chained or broken in our name," Juan Carlos told the slightly confused crowd of Madrid citizens gathered under threat of death outside the Placio Imperiatus, formerly the Banco Madrid. "All shall bow their heads to Spain and Christ or lose them!"

"Be warned, peoples of the Americas, for the Reino Imperio de España comes to wreak havoc upon your heads and bring you under the yoke of Christ, God save you," he added.